Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There r osticjed everywhere
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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