Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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