I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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