If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
