well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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