it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
