Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
