How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
