What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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