my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
