I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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