thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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