just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
