You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
