My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
