I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
