do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
