she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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