69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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