Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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