Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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