I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
