What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
