Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
