My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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