i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
