ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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