addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
