Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
