I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
