My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
