All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
