She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
