On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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