Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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