Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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