it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
