he wants to bone in the snuggie
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
did i just pee glitter
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
