got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
