He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
