the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
