this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
