i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
