when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
