i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
