You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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