Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize