Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
