are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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