Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
