Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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