U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Two words: blizzard sex
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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