their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
