OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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