i already hear my dad disowning me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
