i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
