I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
