i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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