Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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