Your dad touched me again.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize