i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
