i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just high enough for therapy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
